Long story. We got married after dating for 2 years in high school. We were both only 18 years old and still in our senior year. The crazy thing is my parents don’t know about it but hers do because we got married so that we could stay together through college. See, she came from another country when she was 2 but her parents never bothered to get her documentation aside from a passport so she was totally screwed for her future cuz she couldnt get a real job or go to college. I love her very much and i knew the only way we could stay together was if we got married cuz i was going away to college and she could only come with me if she could go to school and work as well. So we did. We got married last April, and things were great for awhile, but then I went away for 6 weeks for my first summer semester at school, 7 hours away from where i lived. She thought i was abandoning her and thought i was being an asshole, and in all fairness i kinda was cuz i thought she wasnt respecting the fact that i had a great opportunity to go to a good school. However, about 2 weeks after being up there, i notcied she started talking to an ex from a really really long time ago, like when she was a freshman in high school. However, they only dated for 2 weeks and i talked to her about it and she said theyre just friends and i believed her cuz i trusted her. Then, as time went on, she kept talking about him a lot, and he would buy her food, and eventually a fucking iPod which was a huge red flag for me but she just called me paranoid and a jerk. They even went on little dates, which she had no problem telling me about, so i assumed "how could she be hiding something from me if shes telling me everything they do?" see, my wife has no friends cuz they were all either mean deep down inside and didnt care about her, or she chose to cut them out of her life. So, i was actually glad she had a friend to do stuff with while i was gone. Eventually i went back home after the semester, and i could tell things were a little different. She was acting more like a good friend with me than a lover or a wife. I thought it was just playful and the kind of strangesness of not being around someone for awhile, but then once we moved back up to my college together and started living together, things started getting strange. She would talk to him nline all night, long after i had already fallen asleep. I would get upset about it and she would just say she couldnt believe how jealous and threatened i was. Then, i had to fly back to my home state where i was born for a dual memorial because both of my grandparents past away around the same tie last year, and about 20 minutes before i got on the flight, my wife’s best friend from her childhood sent me proof that she had indeed been fucking her ex. I confronted her about it via instant messaging and she broke down. She admitted to it, apologized profusely. I thought i was having a panic attack when i read the conversation that proved she was sleeping with him. I went off on her of course, telling her i fucking hated her and how could she do that to me. However i didnt tell her (and i forgot to mention whilst writing this story) that i had an inebriated one night stand with a friend from elementary school whom i reconnected with at college. We did not have sex but we fooled around a little bit, and my wife always told me "if you just kiss another woman, dont tell me, its a waste. Only tell me if you sleep with someone" so naturally i didnt tell her. In hindsight, i shouldve told her then and there but i was too furious and in total shock for the thought to even enter my head.

Basically thats as much of the story i can get on here without writing a whole novel and killing myself afterwards.

So, we’re still together, she found out about what i did a few months later, threatend to leave but i convinced her to stay, went to therapy to burn the thoughts out of my head of her with another man, but we still have problems.

My main reason for writing all this is this- its fairly obvious that since her affair my wife has found me much less sexually attractive. Our sex is much less frequent and she doesn’t seem to want me as bad as she used to. Now i asked her after her affair "was he better then me? did he have a bigger dick than me?" to which she always replied no but part of me thinks she just didnt want to crush my ego and self esteem any more. However i cant help but think she doesnt enjoy our sex as much anymore (even though she always climaxes, and believe i can tell shes not faking!) because she is comparing it to the lustful, passionate sex she had with her ex in her own head. What the hell do I do? If I confront her about it shell probably just breakdown and cry and want to leave me cuz its been a while since her affair and shell think i havent forgiven her. Please help, ive run out ofoptions, hence why im putting this on fucking Yahoo Answers

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